He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
