so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
