I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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