I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
