i don't like sucking hair
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
