dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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