i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
