You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
