Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
