dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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