I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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