escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
