Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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