dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am mentally ready for anal.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
