He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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