Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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