Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
