Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize