We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
