i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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