ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
