it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
