just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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