it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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