And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
