i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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