just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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