It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
