In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
