i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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