And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i think im in europe. pls send help
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
