Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
