We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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