Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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