The maid of honor just puked.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
