I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
