i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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