my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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