Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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