Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
