Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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