Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she looked like the before picture.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
