Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
