omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize