i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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