dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
