You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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