To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
