Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
