Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
