i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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