For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i love accidental penises.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
