My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
