Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
