....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
