bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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