Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dignity is for republicans.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
