dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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