I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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