why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize