I heard we made out
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
