just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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