There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm at about main and main street
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
