C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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