Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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