oh fat girl friday strikes again...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This is the high leading the old right now
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
