her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
