I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
