I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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