i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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