So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think I died a long time ago.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
God, I missed his penis.
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