how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
