So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
