is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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