You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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