we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
