And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This is the high leading the old right now
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
